To The Other Side works of Yan Shilin 2012.04.21 - 05.20 PREFACE WORKS SCENE TEXT	□ Yan Shilin-A Lonely Fighter Hule From escape to fighting Centered on the topic of youth and growth, Yan Shilin’s upcoming solo exhibition— To the Other Side—actually reflects the common problems that are bothering the young generation. Like all the post 80s who fight for their dreams, Yan Shilin also feels puzzled and has suffered a lot, and he finally chooses to express his feelings and wishes by his works, because in his view the authenticity of art works gives man power and courage to live on. Although these works do not offer any solutions to the problems in the end (certainly that will be too much pressure for the artist), the thought of the artist and the great efforts he exerts more or less mirror our own situations. His work What 's up? Empty Sofa in 2010 actually can be regarded as the representative work in the first stage of his creation. According to our daily experience, sofa is supposed to be the symbol of comfort and warmth and people can have a rest on it. However, nobody wants to be very close to the sofa in Yan Shilin’s work, even the children. They look frightened and worried. What on earth happened? We can speculate that the artist right then was trying to escape from something, probably because life itself brought him no substantive sense of security. As a matter of fact, we can see such kind of expression in his other works during the same period of time. For example, he wrapped up the children’s ears with earplugs, so that they could stay in their little world forever, which is actually an extreme embodiment of his spiritual escape. Nevertheless, the plot of the story changed two years later. Yan Shilin himself also admits that one will think of resisting if the mind is repressed too long. Like a spring, it will rebound after it has been pressed down for too long. Therefore, To the Other Side, in a sense, reflects the inner resistance and struggle of the artist. Prickly Pear and the wolf cup In his childhood, Yan Shilin often had such kind of dream: He flew up into the sky unconsciously, and then suddenly he fell down rapidly and directly onto the ground, and once again he rocketed into the sky. During this process, he could see little houses on the ground and rows of rice in the field waving in the breeze. For some reason, this dream sticks in Yan Shilin’s mind and he thinks of it more frequently after he grew up. In A Wayward Cloud, there is a little princess with a white swan in her arms, which actually represents the most wonderful dream of the artist when he was a little boy. He said, “I enjoy the feeling of looking down at everything from the air. You can open your heart wide, and that is exactly what I want—freedom.” However, the real world appears otherwise. It is full of various constraints. Like everyone else, Yan Shilin often feels depressed and hurt. As a result, he has to grit his teeth and imagine that he can adapt to the harsh environment like a prickly pear. He said, “I don’t want to be a flower which cannot stand the test of time. I’d rather be a prickly pear. Then you don’t need to worry about what will become of me. You can’t threaten me either, because I can endure all the tests. If I prick myself accidentally, I will blame nobody.” Prickly pear will prick itself while self-protecting. Apparently, it is painful and helpless for the artist to make such kind of decision. Therefore, when he feels that he is not strong enough, he always dreams of making an exact copy of himself, so that he can be much stronger. He said, “At least I have company. I am not so lonely and helpless anymore.” In his work The Other Self, two identical girls clench their fists and stand there with their arms around each other, displaying the perseverance of the artist to find his other self in the world. But occasionally he will put a wolf cap on the head of the child. Although it is more or less like “fox assuming the tiger’s ferocity,” it is a wise way of protecting oneself from the “beasts” in the forest. Imaginary Enemy and The Castle in My Heart So, what on earth are these “beasts” or imaginary enemies? Yan Shilin gave several examples. Like when driving on the road, he will feel very uneasy if the car ahead turns left and then right repeatedly. Other examples, such as construction of the house, the rising rent, better health insurance, or pressure put on him by the outside world etc, can all be called “imaginary enemies.” All these things disturb the peace of his mind and consequently he is unable to enjoy the real freedom. However, he knows all of these are serious obstacles he must overcome. As a result, in his work Imaginary Enemy, he fashioned these obstacles into a masked fellow with horns. A child rides on him and grasps his horns tightly, trying to control him. Yan Shilin said, “Everyone will encounter different kinds of problems in their life. I imagined them as my enemies, and I will fight them even if it is hard to win.” As a result, he armed himself to the teeth with as much strength as possible from the outside—He tried to build a kingdom for himself and he grew a pair of firm deer horns on the head of the child, and surrounded the castle with thorns and thus made a mighty wall. By doing this, he felt much more powerful. Despite part of the “power” was pretended, the rest of it was enough for him to avoid the attacks outside and defend himself. This was his shelter and also the secret castle in his heart. Of course, for a man whose mind is not strong enough, he may still feel unsafe and nervous even though he has deer horns and a wolf cap. But at least the artist is trying to change himself and accordingly take actions. Apparently, it is a strategy which is much more practical and important than endless dreaming. Don Quixote into Wonderland is the largest work in this exhibition and also the ending work of the story. Don Quixote in rabbit cap rides a charming horse and begins his journey to the far-away wonderland. After all those anxieties and resistance, one finally sees the beautiful and dreamlike wonderland ahead. For Yan Shilin, it is due to all those ugliness and obstacles that our expectations for beauty and happiness turn out to be more valuable. This is his view about art, just like Don Quixote, who is always marching forward and often says to his companions ferociously, “if you are scared, then walk away and do your prayers. I will fight them alone until my death.” Advance of the 80s It is generally acknowledged that most post-80s artists have continued the creation style of the post-75s artists. Unlike the 50s and 60s who focus on macro-narrative, the 80s focus their attention on the private experiences of their inner mind. Compared with the concept of unreachable “country” and “the world”, the concept of “I” and “home” inspires them more and serves as material and motivation for their creation. This is why 80s also suffer doubts while they make their voice heard in the art circles. Objectors think that they have not come up with a new art style as yet, not to mention launching an art movement so as to lead the trend. Therefore, the 80s do not deserve a mention and attention. Such kind of opinion apparently ignores the investigation of the artist as an individual case. Furthermore, so to speak, art environment today is full of elements that are disadvantageous for the 80s artists. For example, the solidified dual structure of the art circles often makes them feel powerless to change the current situation. Out of consideration for personal interest, the gallery owner and the exhibition organizer offer them few chances to appear in public. Besides, after 30 years of development of the Chinese contemporary art, the audiences have seen various art works and styles, and accordingly they expect novelty badly. Therefore, it is so hard for the 80s artists to make rapid progress and at the same time keep pace with the international art. Of course, they have many shortcomings, like insufficient knowledge reserve, poor adaptability to the social reality, and lack of international horizon which they are supposed to have, etc. Among all of these, what people criticize them most is that they lack the fearless and aggressive spirit. As the Chinese saying goes, newborn calves are not afraid of tigers. Nevertheless we cannot detect such kind of spirit in the 80s. Although they are young, they have to shoulder many heave burdens, and they gradually become hesitant and obedient when facing problems. Hence, at the present stage, the first thing they should do is to think about how to get strong in both art field and their mind. Yan Shilin’s new works is a response to this issue. He said, “My life is the inspiration source of all my works. I care about neither political material nor pop style. I just think of my own experiences and feelings and those of others from human’s point of view, and then present what puzzles and annoys us in the form of questions. I look forward to having in-depth discussions with those who have the same feelings as mine and together we can try to solve the problems.” To sum up, we can assert that it is not a one-man fight; instead it is the advance of all the 80s. Conversation:Hule=Hu Yan Shilin=Yan Wishing to have a shelter Hu: It is not hard to tell that you need the sense of security. Your works in recent years are also centered on this subject. Could you tell us the reasons behind this? Yan: it is related to my childhood experience. I stayed with my grandparents until I was four years old. My grandpa was very serious and everyone in the family was afraid of him. I often felt out of place because it was not my own home and I was frightened whenever I made a mistake. They all loved me very much, but I did not have a happy childhood and was involved into the adult world too early. My family was in poor economical condition all the time. My father was a veteran and the troops arranged for him to work in a state power station. However he gave it up and decided to do business on his own. He failed again and again. As a result, whenever it was time to pay the tuition fees, I always followed him to borrow money. People looked down upon and humiliated us, and I lived with such kind of experiences for many years. So I always wished that there was a shelter which could make me stronger. Hu: Then why did you decide to learn painting? Yan: Speaking of painting, I learned it by myself for several years while I was in primary school. I often asked the teachers to teach me and give me suggestions. But it turned out that they also knew little about painting. Later, I begged my father for permission to take the fine art training class in the town. I was beaten up as a result. I cried all the way back home and had to paint secretly. My father happened to see me and finally agreed. So I actually exchanged physical pain for the opportunity of learning painting. I know it didn’t come easy, so I cherished it very much. Then I went to Hubei Institute of Fine arts. Gradually I was able to help my teachers with sculpture and earn my tuition fees and living expenses. Later, I even sent money back home. I felt that I was like a prickly pear, which tortured itself while self-protecting. Hu: How was your life like after you came to Beijing? Yan: After graduation, I went to Beijing. I had only 1,000 Yuan left after I bought the train ticket. I didn’t think too much at that time. I thought that I would feel satisfied as long as I would not starve to death, have the time to make preparations for the entrance exam of postgraduate study, and be able to keep creation at the same time. After I arrived in Beijing, I stayed with a friend who was once a senior student in our institute for two months. It brought much trouble to him, so I left and rented a little single room in Cuigezhuang and went on with my preparations for the test. The rent was 200 Yuan a month. Here I want to thank Professor Wang Shaojun of China Central Academy of Fine Arts. I applied to be his postgraduate student at that time. After the test, my scores of the professional courses were pretty good; however, I didn’t pass the English test. He wanted to take me as his student very much, so he advised me to try again. He recommended and helped me to find part-time jobs. He even helped me negotiate the price. I was well paid and finally I owned the first studio in my life. Of course, it was very shabby. I put the bunk beds which somebody threw away in the corner of the studio. I put my luggage on the upper bed and slept on the one below. In this way, I made a temporary bedroom with curtains being the door. Next I bought two barrels of mud and a revolving table and then officially started my creation. Although it was so hard, I was very happy then. Seizing every opportunity firmly Hu: Why did you give up postgraduate study later? Yan: During my preparation for the test, I gradually realized that study was not what I wanted. Sometimes I would tell myself that life will be better if I finish postgraduate study, but I really couldn’t see my future in the study. What’s worse, I found I was so tired by doing all the stuff, not only physically but also mentally. So I gave up in the end. Meanwhile, I found that perhaps creation is more suitable for me. Therefore, I kept creating works for about two years. Hu: How did you solve the problem of living expenses? Yan: I find that I am a lucky guy all the time. I owe a great deal to many people. Apart from Professor Wang Shaojun, one of my undergraduate teachers also gave me financial help for a long time. We are close friends and he once called me and said directly, “You just arrived in Beijing and must need money right now. I will send you ten thousand Yuan for emergency.” Next he sent me the money. And the boss of a mould factory was also very kind. I moulded my works in his factory for a year. He said I could take my time and pay him at the end of the year. However, I had no money to pay him when the year ended. I paid him next year and he said nothing about this and even brought his nephew to be my assistant. Later, when I was really in need of money, I could sell some of the works. Although they were very cheap, the payment was enough to support my creation. Hu: So later money was not so tight for you. Yan: Yes. At that time I earned a little bit more, so I decided to decorate the studio simply. I bought several lamps and painted the kitchen so that the ashes would not fall down when I was cooking. And I even made an attic. Right after I finished decoration, I was informed that the house would be demolished. Now I can still remember that it was snowing heavily that day and we were busy transporting all my works, even the unfinished ones. I was so exhausted, but I had no other choice. After all, it was not my own house, so the owner could kick me out whenever he wanted to. Later, thanks to the help of a friend, I moved to Song Zhuang and temporarily settled down. Hu: Nearly all the works of your first solo exhibition were finished in this studio, right? Yan: Most of them are finished in the studio and some were made in Song Zhuang. When I thought that I could finally have my own exhibition, I was so excited and full of expectations. I devoted all my energy to it, because I really wanted it to be successful. Not everyone can be given such precious opportunities. If you do not seize it tightly when it comes, you will lose a lot. So I keep reminding myself of grasping every opportunity whenever it comes to me and I do so all these years. The spring will flow out one day Hu: So your first assistant was the nephew of the boss of the mould factory. Yan: Technically speaking, he can’t be called an assistant. He was only fifteen at that time. The boss of the mould factory brought him and the tuition fees to my studio. I said I would not enroll students. He could be my assistant if he wanted to. He said yes. However, he didn’t know how to cook. So I had to teach him to cook first and later he was able to cook a lot of delicious dishes. As for sculpture, I taught him sketch and geometry at the beginning and next how to make head portrait and clay sculpture. After three years of study in my studio, he can earn 200 Yuan a day now. Hu: How many assistants do you have now? Yan: Two or three of them are regular assistants. There are about ten at busy days, helping me make clay sculpture, mould, paint, and color and so on. At the very beginning I thought I could handle all the work. However, as time went by I realized that the outside world will expect and demand more and more from you as your creation ability grows stronger and stronger. Then I had to ask others for help and that is how the team was built. But as more and more people join the team, the more I have to take into consideration. Every morning when I wake up, a bunch of people will come to me and ask how they should deal with this or that. Then you are asked to see this and that. Another busy day for me! Every day is like this. Besides, I am very particular and demanding. I expect them to do everything in strict accordance with my standard. If there appears a little flaw, I will bear it in mind. However, the truth is that I do not have extra energy to deal with such details, which will tire me to death and deeply bother my assistants as well. It may be all about my character. I want everything to be perfect. At least it must satisfy me. Hu: How do you arrange your daily schedule? Yan: I get up at 8 am and go to bed at about 1 am. Everyone else will go to bed at about 10 am, and then I can finally be alone and quiet down. I will organize my thoughts and paint for a while, thinking of tomorrow’s arrangement. Only during this period of time, I was quietest. This is why I go to bed at about 1 am. I am very busy at all the rest of the time. I often think if only there were two of me! Then I could do more things, and this is the reason why I made My Other Self. My friends often ask me to go out, but I really have no time. I have to support all the people in the studio. So when there are many people in the studio, we will buy a big bag of rice and it will be all gone just in one week. We would often drive to the market and buy a lot of vegetables and meat. There are so many oil bottles piling up in the corner of the studio. Sometimes I thought people are forced to do many things they may not be good at. Like me, I am not interested in management. But now I have no choice but to manage the studio since dozens of people are working for me. I know clearly that there are many troubles and challenges waiting for me ahead, but I believe every cloud has a silver lining. I will not live my life as some people do—they want to dig a well, but they give up before the spring flows out. For me, I will keep digging, because I firmly believe that one day the spring will appear. There is always a paradise in my heart Hu: So your works are always concerned with human and their emotions, feelings, and experiences. Yan: Yes. I live a hard life since my childhood. Everything is unstable and I have to count on myself all the time. So what I want is calmness instead of too many distracting thoughts. I wish whenever I want happiness, I can get it, and nothing interferes with this. However, it is so hard in real life. Therefore, I put such kind of wishes and attitudes in my works and let them speak on behalf of me. All of us will encounter various problems each day. In my opinion, we can’t be half-hearted or just avoid them. We must face and solve them. Even though I am not able to solve them now, I can put them forward. Then when I meet those people who have the same feelings as mine, we can think of and deal with these problems together. Hu: There are thorns and a horse in your new works. Can you explain the reasons? Yan: I went to Basel a year ago and happened to see Richard Serra’s exhibition there. I was deeply impressed. I used for reference his concept about space occupation and segmentation and finally decided to shape the element that we may hurt ourselves while self-protecting into thorns. As for horse, I always think that it is the symbol of running and freedom. It can take me to my dream world and is therefore very appropriate to express the thought of “To the Other Side.” Hu: Your heart is actually consistent with your works and there is a dream “other side” in both of them. Yan: I always follow my heart and my feelings have great influence on me. Most of the time I feel that I live in two networks—my family network and the social network. Above all, I feel that I live in my own contradictions. I want to hear my inner voice and restore the little world in my mind, but the reality never gives me the chance. So I often compare myself to a little deer in the forest which is always rebellious, anxious and eager to flee. However, over time such kind of life squeezes me into springs, which rebound when pressed down too long. So I start to arm and challenge myself and at the same time beat the beasts in the forest. In this solo exhibition, I attempt to construct and defend the castle in my heart with weapons. That is my view of art. Although I am troubled by different kinds of anxieties and contradictions, there is always a paradise in my heart. That’s my utopia. I am just fight for myself and those who have the same feelings, and that’s all.
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To The Other Side
works of Yan Shilin
2012.04.21 - 05.20

□ Yan Shilin-A Lonely Fighter

Hule

From escape to fighting

Centered on the topic of youth and growth, Yan Shilin’s upcoming solo exhibition— To the Other Side—actually reflects the common problems that are bothering the young generation. Like all the post 80s who fight for their dreams, Yan Shilin also feels puzzled and has suffered a lot, and he finally chooses to express his feelings and wishes by his works, because in his view the authenticity of art works gives man power and courage to live on. Although these works do not offer any solutions to the problems in the end (certainly that will be too much pressure for the artist), the thought of the artist and the great efforts he exerts more or less mirror our own situations.

His work What 's up? Empty Sofa in 2010 actually can be regarded as the representative work in the first stage of his creation. According to our daily experience, sofa is supposed to be the symbol of comfort and warmth and people can have a rest on it. However, nobody wants to be very close to the sofa in Yan Shilin’s work, even the children. They look frightened and worried. What on earth happened? We can speculate that the artist right then was trying to escape from something, probably because life itself brought him no substantive sense of security.

As a matter of fact, we can see such kind of expression in his other works during the same period of time. For example, he wrapped up the children’s ears with earplugs, so that they could stay in their little world forever, which is actually an extreme embodiment of his spiritual escape. Nevertheless, the plot of the story changed two years later. Yan Shilin himself also admits that one will think of resisting if the mind is repressed too long. Like a spring, it will rebound after it has been pressed down for too long. Therefore, To the Other Side, in a sense, reflects the inner resistance and struggle of the artist.

Prickly Pear and the wolf cup

In his childhood, Yan Shilin often had such kind of dream: He flew up into the sky unconsciously, and then suddenly he fell down rapidly and directly onto the ground, and once again he rocketed into the sky. During this process, he could see little houses on the ground and rows of rice in the field waving in the breeze. For some reason, this dream sticks in Yan Shilin’s mind and he thinks of it more frequently after he grew up. In A Wayward Cloud, there is a little princess with a white swan in her arms, which actually represents the most wonderful dream of the artist when he was a little boy. He said, “I enjoy the feeling of looking down at everything from the air. You can open your heart wide, and that is exactly what I want—freedom.”

However, the real world appears otherwise. It is full of various constraints. Like everyone else, Yan Shilin often feels depressed and hurt. As a result, he has to grit his teeth and imagine that he can adapt to the harsh environment like a prickly pear. He said, “I don’t want to be a flower which cannot stand the test of time. I’d rather be a prickly pear. Then you don’t need to worry about what will become of me. You can’t threaten me either, because I can endure all the tests. If I prick myself accidentally, I will blame nobody.”

Prickly pear will prick itself while self-protecting. Apparently, it is painful and helpless for the artist to make such kind of decision. Therefore, when he feels that he is not strong enough, he always dreams of making an exact copy of himself, so that he can be much stronger. He said, “At least I have company. I am not so lonely and helpless anymore.” In his work The Other Self, two identical girls clench their fists and stand there with their arms around each other, displaying the perseverance of the artist to find his other self in the world. But occasionally he will put a wolf cap on the head of the child. Although it is more or less like “fox assuming the tiger’s ferocity,” it is a wise way of protecting oneself from the “beasts” in the forest.

Imaginary Enemy and The Castle in My Heart

So, what on earth are these “beasts” or imaginary enemies? Yan Shilin gave several examples. Like when driving on the road, he will feel very uneasy if the car ahead turns left and then right repeatedly. Other examples, such as construction of the house, the rising rent, better health insurance, or pressure put on him by the outside world etc, can all be called “imaginary enemies.” All these things disturb the peace of his mind and consequently he is unable to enjoy the real freedom. However, he knows all of these are serious obstacles he must overcome. As a result, in his work Imaginary Enemy, he fashioned these obstacles into a masked fellow with horns. A child rides on him and grasps his horns tightly, trying to control him. Yan Shilin said, “Everyone will encounter different kinds of problems in their life. I imagined them as my enemies, and I will fight them even if it is hard to win.”

As a result, he armed himself to the teeth with as much strength as possible from the outside—He tried to build a kingdom for himself and he grew a pair of firm deer horns on the head of the child, and surrounded the castle with thorns and thus made a mighty wall. By doing this, he felt much more powerful. Despite part of the “power” was pretended, the rest of it was enough for him to avoid the attacks outside and defend himself. This was his shelter and also the secret castle in his heart. Of course, for a man whose mind is not strong enough, he may still feel unsafe and nervous even though he has deer horns and a wolf cap. But at least the artist is trying to change himself and accordingly take actions. Apparently, it is a strategy which is much more practical and important than endless dreaming.

Don Quixote into Wonderland is the largest work in this exhibition and also the ending work of the story. Don Quixote in rabbit cap rides a charming horse and begins his journey to the far-away wonderland. After all those anxieties and resistance, one finally sees the beautiful and dreamlike wonderland ahead. For Yan Shilin, it is due to all those ugliness and obstacles that our expectations for beauty and happiness turn out to be more valuable. This is his view about art, just like Don Quixote, who is always marching forward and often says to his companions ferociously, “if you are scared, then walk away and do your prayers. I will fight them alone until my death.”

Advance of the 80s
It is generally acknowledged that most post-80s artists have continued the creation style of the post-75s artists. Unlike the 50s and 60s who focus on macro-narrative, the 80s focus their attention on the private experiences of their inner mind. Compared with the concept of unreachable “country” and “the world”, the concept of “I” and “home” inspires them more and serves as material and motivation for their creation. This is why 80s also suffer doubts while they make their voice heard in the art circles. Objectors think that they have not come up with a new art style as yet, not to mention launching an art movement so as to lead the trend. Therefore, the 80s do not deserve a mention and attention.

Such kind of opinion apparently ignores the investigation of the artist as an individual case. Furthermore, so to speak, art environment today is full of elements that are disadvantageous for the 80s artists. For example, the solidified dual structure of the art circles often makes them feel powerless to change the current situation. Out of consideration for personal interest, the gallery owner and the exhibition organizer offer them few chances to appear in public. Besides, after 30 years of development of the Chinese contemporary art, the audiences have seen various art works and styles, and accordingly they expect novelty badly. Therefore, it is so hard for the 80s artists to make rapid progress and at the same time keep pace with the international art.

Of course, they have many shortcomings, like insufficient knowledge reserve, poor adaptability to the social reality, and lack of international horizon which they are supposed to have, etc. Among all of these, what people criticize them most is that they lack the fearless and aggressive spirit. As the Chinese saying goes, newborn calves are not afraid of tigers. Nevertheless we cannot detect such kind of spirit in the 80s. Although they are young, they have to shoulder many heave burdens, and they gradually become hesitant and obedient when facing problems. Hence, at the present stage, the first thing they should do is to think about how to get strong in both art field and their mind.

Yan Shilin’s new works is a response to this issue. He said, “My life is the inspiration source of all my works. I care about neither political material nor pop style. I just think of my own experiences and feelings and those of others from human’s point of view, and then present what puzzles and annoys us in the form of questions. I look forward to having in-depth discussions with those who have the same feelings as mine and together we can try to solve the problems.” To sum up, we can assert that it is not a one-man fight; instead it is the advance of all the 80s.

Conversation:Hule=Hu
Yan Shilin=Yan

Wishing to have a shelter

Hu: It is not hard to tell that you need the sense of security. Your works in recent years are also centered on this subject. Could you tell us the reasons behind this?
Yan: it is related to my childhood experience. I stayed with my grandparents until I was four years old. My grandpa was very serious and everyone in the family was afraid of him. I often felt out of place because it was not my own home and I was frightened whenever I made a mistake. They all loved me very much, but I did not have a happy childhood and was involved into the adult world too early. My family was in poor economical condition all the time. My father was a veteran and the troops arranged for him to work in a state power station. However he gave it up and decided to do business on his own. He failed again and again. As a result, whenever it was time to pay the tuition fees, I always followed him to borrow money. People looked down upon and humiliated us, and I lived with such kind of experiences for many years. So I always wished that there was a shelter which could make me stronger.

Hu: Then why did you decide to learn painting?
Yan: Speaking of painting, I learned it by myself for several years while I was in primary school. I often asked the teachers to teach me and give me suggestions. But it turned out that they also knew little about painting. Later, I begged my father for permission to take the fine art training class in the town. I was beaten up as a result. I cried all the way back home and had to paint secretly. My father happened to see me and finally agreed. So I actually exchanged physical pain for the opportunity of learning painting. I know it didn’t come easy, so I cherished it very much. Then I went to Hubei Institute of Fine arts. Gradually I was able to help my teachers with sculpture and earn my tuition fees and living expenses. Later, I even sent money back home. I felt that I was like a prickly pear, which tortured itself while self-protecting.

Hu: How was your life like after you came to Beijing?
Yan: After graduation, I went to Beijing. I had only 1,000 Yuan left after I bought the train ticket. I didn’t think too much at that time. I thought that I would feel satisfied as long as I would not starve to death, have the time to make preparations for the entrance exam of postgraduate study, and be able to keep creation at the same time. After I arrived in Beijing, I stayed with a friend who was once a senior student in our institute for two months. It brought much trouble to him, so I left and rented a little single room in Cuigezhuang and went on with my preparations for the test. The rent was 200 Yuan a month. Here I want to thank Professor Wang Shaojun of China Central Academy of Fine Arts. I applied to be his postgraduate student at that time. After the test, my scores of the professional courses were pretty good; however, I didn’t pass the English test. He wanted to take me as his student very much, so he advised me to try again. He recommended and helped me to find part-time jobs. He even helped me negotiate the price. I was well paid and finally I owned the first studio in my life. Of course, it was very shabby. I put the bunk beds which somebody threw away in the corner of the studio. I put my luggage on the upper bed and slept on the one below. In this way, I made a temporary bedroom with curtains being the door. Next I bought two barrels of mud and a revolving table and then officially started my creation. Although it was so hard, I was very happy then.

Seizing every opportunity firmly

Hu: Why did you give up postgraduate study later?
Yan: During my preparation for the test, I gradually realized that study was not what I wanted. Sometimes I would tell myself that life will be better if I finish postgraduate study, but I really couldn’t see my future in the study. What’s worse, I found I was so tired by doing all the stuff, not only physically but also mentally. So I gave up in the end. Meanwhile, I found that perhaps creation is more suitable for me. Therefore, I kept creating works for about two years.

Hu: How did you solve the problem of living expenses?
Yan: I find that I am a lucky guy all the time. I owe a great deal to many people. Apart from Professor Wang Shaojun, one of my undergraduate teachers also gave me financial help for a long time. We are close friends and he once called me and said directly, “You just arrived in Beijing and must need money right now. I will send you ten thousand Yuan for emergency.” Next he sent me the money. And the boss of a mould factory was also very kind. I moulded my works in his factory for a year. He said I could take my time and pay him at the end of the year. However, I had no money to pay him when the year ended. I paid him next year and he said nothing about this and even brought his nephew to be my assistant. Later, when I was really in need of money, I could sell some of the works. Although they were very cheap, the payment was enough to support my creation.

Hu: So later money was not so tight for you.
Yan: Yes. At that time I earned a little bit more, so I decided to decorate the studio simply. I bought several lamps and painted the kitchen so that the ashes would not fall down when I was cooking. And I even made an attic. Right after I finished decoration, I was informed that the house would be demolished. Now I can still remember that it was snowing heavily that day and we were busy transporting all my works, even the unfinished ones. I was so exhausted, but I had no other choice. After all, it was not my own house, so the owner could kick me out whenever he wanted to. Later, thanks to the help of a friend, I moved to Song Zhuang and temporarily settled down.

Hu: Nearly all the works of your first solo exhibition were finished in this studio, right?
Yan: Most of them are finished in the studio and some were made in Song Zhuang. When I thought that I could finally have my own exhibition, I was so excited and full of expectations. I devoted all my energy to it, because I really wanted it to be successful. Not everyone can be given such precious opportunities. If you do not seize it tightly when it comes, you will lose a lot. So I keep reminding myself of grasping every opportunity whenever it comes to me and I do so all these years.

The spring will flow out one day

Hu: So your first assistant was the nephew of the boss of the mould factory.
Yan: Technically speaking, he can’t be called an assistant. He was only fifteen at that time. The boss of the mould factory brought him and the tuition fees to my studio. I said I would not enroll students. He could be my assistant if he wanted to. He said yes. However, he didn’t know how to cook. So I had to teach him to cook first and later he was able to cook a lot of delicious dishes. As for sculpture, I taught him sketch and geometry at the beginning and next how to make head portrait and clay sculpture. After three years of study in my studio, he can earn 200 Yuan a day now.

Hu: How many assistants do you have now?
Yan: Two or three of them are regular assistants. There are about ten at busy days, helping me make clay sculpture, mould, paint, and color and so on. At the very beginning I thought I could handle all the work. However, as time went by I realized that the outside world will expect and demand more and more from you as your creation ability grows stronger and stronger. Then I had to ask others for help and that is how the team was built. But as more and more people join the team, the more I have to take into consideration. Every morning when I wake up, a bunch of people will come to me and ask how they should deal with this or that. Then you are asked to see this and that. Another busy day for me! Every day is like this. Besides, I am very particular and demanding. I expect them to do everything in strict accordance with my standard. If there appears a little flaw, I will bear it in mind. However, the truth is that I do not have extra energy to deal with such details, which will tire me to death and deeply bother my assistants as well. It may be all about my character. I want everything to be perfect. At least it must satisfy me.

Hu: How do you arrange your daily schedule?
Yan: I get up at 8 am and go to bed at about 1 am. Everyone else will go to bed at about 10 am, and then I can finally be alone and quiet down. I will organize my thoughts and paint for a while, thinking of tomorrow’s arrangement. Only during this period of time, I was quietest. This is why I go to bed at about 1 am. I am very busy at all the rest of the time. I often think if only there were two of me! Then I could do more things, and this is the reason why I made My Other Self. My friends often ask me to go out, but I really have no time. I have to support all the people in the studio. So when there are many people in the studio, we will buy a big bag of rice and it will be all gone just in one week. We would often drive to the market and buy a lot of vegetables and meat. There are so many oil bottles piling up in the corner of the studio. Sometimes I thought people are forced to do many things they may not be good at. Like me, I am not interested in management. But now I have no choice but to manage the studio since dozens of people are working for me. I know clearly that there are many troubles and challenges waiting for me ahead, but I believe every cloud has a silver lining. I will not live my life as some people do—they want to dig a well, but they give up before the spring flows out. For me, I will keep digging, because I firmly believe that one day the spring will appear.

There is always a paradise in my heart

Hu: So your works are always concerned with human and their emotions, feelings, and experiences.
Yan: Yes. I live a hard life since my childhood. Everything is unstable and I have to count on myself all the time. So what I want is calmness instead of too many distracting thoughts. I wish whenever I want happiness, I can get it, and nothing interferes with this. However, it is so hard in real life. Therefore, I put such kind of wishes and attitudes in my works and let them speak on behalf of me. All of us will encounter various problems each day. In my opinion, we can’t be half-hearted or just avoid them. We must face and solve them. Even though I am not able to solve them now, I can put them forward. Then when I meet those people who have the same feelings as mine, we can think of and deal with these problems together.

Hu: There are thorns and a horse in your new works. Can you explain the reasons?
Yan: I went to Basel a year ago and happened to see Richard Serra’s exhibition there. I was deeply impressed. I used for reference his concept about space occupation and segmentation and finally decided to shape the element that we may hurt ourselves while self-protecting into thorns. As for horse, I always think that it is the symbol of running and freedom. It can take me to my dream world and is therefore very appropriate to express the thought of “To the Other Side.”

Hu: Your heart is actually consistent with your works and there is a dream “other side” in both of them.
Yan: I always follow my heart and my feelings have great influence on me. Most of the time I feel that I live in two networks—my family network and the social network. Above all, I feel that I live in my own contradictions. I want to hear my inner voice and restore the little world in my mind, but the reality never gives me the chance. So I often compare myself to a little deer in the forest which is always rebellious, anxious and eager to flee. However, over time such kind of life squeezes me into springs, which rebound when pressed down too long. So I start to arm and challenge myself and at the same time beat the beasts in the forest. In this solo exhibition, I attempt to construct and defend the castle in my heart with weapons. That is my view of art. Although I am troubled by different kinds of anxieties and contradictions, there is always a paradise in my heart. That’s my utopia. I am just fight for myself and those who have the same feelings, and that’s all.