Biimrock
I still remember that I liked reading newspapers when I was a little kid. At that time, I lived with my grandparents. My grandpa worked on the railroad and often brought dozens of newspaper after work. I would finish reading a very thick dozen of newspapers very quickly because I only watched the pictures and cartoons and never read the words on it. However, most of the newspapers were People’s Daily or something like that, where you could find only a few pictures and cartoons. What’s worse, most of the pictures were news photographs or caricatures related to politics and morality. Nonetheless, I still read them with great relish then.
During my student days, I don’t like reading words either. I remember when I was in fifth grade in primary school, our Chinese teacher once gave us an assignment— to read the article we were going to learn next class three times. What’s worse, parents were required to supervise our reading and sign something like “already read three times”. It sounded an easy homework, but for me, it was a disaster. After reading a few lines, I began to utter the words one by one in great difficulty that I ignored the meaning of the articles completely. As a result, I never got into the habit of reading even after I went to college… Later over one of our graduation dinners in 2006, Professor Guan Yong said something to me which I keep in mind all these years. He said, “You are my best student. Listen, kid, read more! ...” I was kind of drunk then, but I knew clearly that he was criticizing me too while encouraging me. Since then, I kept working out grand reading plan for myself, only to quit again and again until now…
In principle, the article should have developed logically like this: I learned from Professor Guan Yong that as an artist I should read and think more to keep my mind sharp and then tell you guys proudly that I have already done some thought extension in my recent art practices…
Nevertheless, the article can also develop from another perspective, which is also true: I am by nature sensitive to images, paintings and any other visual things; however, when it comes to words, my spirits sink immediately. Usually I will not read an article unless it fascinates me very much. As a result, I choose painting as my major and become a professional painter. As far as painting is concerned, a painter should first be very sensitive and highly skilled, and then be capable of expressing what you experience by means of visual language. A good painter is one who can make his/her hands highly consistent with his/her mind. As for strong thought power, I think it may not be a must for a good painter. I remember once Mr. Wei Jia, after seeing my pictures, said, “Your pictures are filled with emotions, which is very good. But I think you should learn to be yourself more and be more confident.” …I think he was encouraging me to follow my heart and instinct, which seems closer to spirit and serves me very well…
As a matter of fact, I really want to summarize my own state of mind and overall creation thought over the year in this article. However, I crossed off what I wrote again and again because I always thought it was not good enough. For instance, those two situations I mentioned above correspond respectively to two key approaches concerning creation theory, but my works and I myself seem to have both the temperaments and the possibilities the two approaches correspond to. As a result, words are actually unable to accurately describe my real experience. Even if I confine the range to painting itself, I am still confronted with many complicated feelings: Should I just focus on concept and make my paintings be the medium for spreading thoughts? Or should I just follow my heart and make my paintings be my journal and say goodbye to the past constantly? Or should I just focus on the tenor language of painting and make pure exploration of visual language? ... All these ideas seem to be in conflict with the values they correspond to. So I keep alert to and suspicious of them by instinct when I am learning them, for deeply I know every road to success cannot be duplicated. If you want to build a unique and powerful creation system of your very own, you have to think and experience everything all on your own. Therefore, in terms of thinking, sometimes I really don’t know what I want; however, I do know what I don’t want… Perhaps it is a good state, for as you know, a real mighty kingdom will never be eager to define its territory...
I remember a sage once said something like this: you are not what you think but what you do. I think it is especially true for art because the works never lie. Although I may not be a good thinker, I am a down-to-earth painter. While painting, I need to work step by step, drawing a sketch first, and then mixing the paints and finally painting on canvas stroke by stroke. During this time, all the confusions will vanish into the air and I will be deeply immersed in painting. Such kind of experience is really fabulous.
As time goes by, more than ten pictures are finished one by one in this way…
While writing this article, I realize that I will be 30 in over ten days. Confucius said that “a man should have independent character at the age of 30”. My own understanding of this saying is that a man should establish a life value of his own when he reaches 30. Speaking of painting, I may adjust myself constantly and dare not to say that I have already established something; while speaking of life, I am quite sure that I am willing to take the art of painting as the key value of my life and keep working on it.
You may consider what I said to be some kind of self-affirmation or reality-molding. If honesty is the bottom line for an artist, I think I have already tried my best to be honest while thinking of these questions and writing this article…
Let’s call it a self-narration of the solo exhibition.
